


Spero - I hope

by HolyBlackSpear



Series: The History of a Dandelion [1]
Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Companion Lavellan (Dragon Age), Extended Families, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Past Rape/Non-con, Rape Recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-31
Updated: 2019-05-31
Packaged: 2020-04-05 16:50:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19044463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HolyBlackSpear/pseuds/HolyBlackSpear
Summary: Hel'shrael Lavellan has been kidnapped and sold as a sex slave in Tevinter due to his exotic beauty.Though he's now been freed from such a cruel fate by Dorian and Alexius, nightmares still haunt him and he has to get accustomed to his unexpected new family, as well as to a completely different life.___Non!Inquisitor LavellanOne-shots part of a series dedicated to the character. Can be read as stand alone.





	Spero - I hope

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone, this is the first fic I post and has been translated from my native language, therefore I apologize if there will be mistakes in its form.
> 
> !!Please read!!  
> The very first part of this text contains a graphic depiction of rape. If you are easily triggered by similar scenes or dislike the matter, I suggest you jump straight to the second paragraph or leave altogether. After that there will only be vague mentions, so you'll be safe.  
> Enjoy :)

Face shoved against the floor, a cheek scratched not too far from his vallaslin, an enormous hand pressed at the back of his neck. Throat hurting, the desperate need to breathe and to run but the oxygen unwilling to fill his pained lungs, body shivering in terror as he heard the laughs around him.  
Naked, humiliated, knees keeping his hips high for everyone to enjoy the view. He tried fighting, squirming with all his might, yet they were three, they were too strong, and his magic was cut out from him with a pair of handcuffs he had never seen and a blindfold that kept him from seeing his torturer. He only had a glimpse of them when they caught him – they were qunari.  
«My my, isn't he gorgeous? That merchant was lucky for sure.»  
Some fingers caressed the inside of his thigh, squeezing it shortly after with force. He hissed in response, trying to free himself from their grip without any result. A hard smack on his bottom made him whimper in pain, gaining approval of the man sitting in front of him, the one pressing his head down. He felt his hand run through his hair, skin rough and greasy – he grabbed and yanked upwards, not caring about the unnatural position his body was forced into.  
«Very beautiful indeed, brother. I bet this mouth is good at sucking cocks.»  
The thought disgusted him, his stomach aching in the desperate attempt of vomiting the food he hadn't eaten in days. The sensation came amplified when the man proceeded to undo his trousers, an erection hitting him on the face, unwashed and throbbing in anticipation. It caressed the line of his tattoos, pressing almost teasingly against his lips before it was slapped right against his left cheek.  
«These marks are nice. They'll look so much better when they're covered in cum, though.»  
Laughs. Someone touched him on his back, following the lines of the ink under his skin; a hand grabbed his hips while the other started touching him between his buttocks, spreading his entrance. He jerked, cursing, moving as he could while ignoring the pain of his hair being pulled forcefully.  
«Stop-» - he cried out, fighting back tears of frustration when he felt their pitiful voices chuckling evilly while the man behind him spat on his hand, smearing saliva across his hole. It took the elf too long to realise what pressed against his bottom shortly after, the monster speaking in Qunlat to the others with hunger in his voice. He begged, wriggled in terror as his tied hands were blocked safely out of the way by the third man so he could use them to touch his own cock - «Please don't, I – I'll do anything but this, I'm begging you-»  
It was no use. His words only excited his tormentors, the qunari behind him groaning impatiently.  
He shoved his erection in him with a brutal thrust, cutting his words out and turning them into a scream of agony. He felt his body breaking under the invasion of such a big member and he cried out as loud as he could, trying to break free and put an end to the torture he was suffering.   
But the qunari didn't care, he started moving, pushing at full speed, ignoring his frantic shouting soon dying in his throat, as his mouth was filled with the other beast's member, dirty and disgusting.  
His whole body aching as if they were ripping him into a half, those hands everywhere and the smell of filthy skin, hot breath against his ear before a hard bite and the thick dribbling of blood between his legs…

 

He woke up screaming and shaking uncontrollably in a bed that was not his, heavy sweaty sheets trapping his body against the hard mattress. He kicked with force, swung his arms with such violence he hit the wooden bedpost, sending sparks of pain through his muscles. But he didn't care, he only wished to break free and he did that as soon as he fell to the floor, body hitting the cold tiles, hands running between his legs to protect everything that was violated.  
Hel realised it had been a dream only when the room's door opened with haste, eyes looking at him with a mixture of sleepiness and concern in the partial darkness.   
He remembered now, yes. He was living at Alexius' house at the moment, formally as his servant. He was safe, far from the past, far from … what he had dreamed.  
When Felix stepped in the room the elf didn't hear his words – he pressed frantically against the wall, trying to run away from him. He even started begging to be left alone in his language when the young man kept walking forward, hiding his face in his hands. He didn't notice he was crying and sobbing, chest aching at the violent jerks.  
The caress on his shoulder was attentive and delicate, comforting and repulsive at the same time. But that touch was safe, it meant no harm – in fact, quite the opposite.  
«It's okay, it's alright. Whatever that was, it was not real.» - His voice, calm and soothing, kept him anchored to reality while that haunting past he had just seen tried to pull him down again, in a neverending spiral of terror. Lavellan wished his words were true, that it was just an illusion, but his presence in that house alone was a painful reminder of how it had happened for real, of how his life was ruined and his soul scarred.  
He held on that touch for how long he could. He was grateful Felix' fingers never stopped touching his skin, drawing small circles that kept him distracted. The sobs slowly ceased, his breath became more regular, the savage pounding of his heart turning into an exhausted beating.  
For just a moment, in the darkness of that room, while his body shut down and his conscience lingered a little bit above his limbs, he saw his clan again. The moving aravels, the soft fur of his halla, the smell of a lake nearby and the laugh, pure and childish, of a blond boy running forward in the sun, glowing like an unreachable star.  
He fell asleep with some words on the lips, his last tears making them wet and salty.  
Vhenas. Vhenan.

 

Alexius and his wife Livia were good to him. They never forced him to do anything, just letting him know that he was free to join them during their meals and that he could be rather autonomous in his choices. It was all extremely strange to him after the slavery he had to endure – he was treated quite well when he was in the brothels, but his independent masters weren't always that nice. He was often denied his meals, deprived of sleep and forced into acts he'd refuse to perform.  
The first time he felt the desire to be with them was during a lovely summer evening. The whole family was there – Felix was explaining a mathematical theory to a very sceptical Dorian. He was breaking down his argument with silly examples, "so that even you can understand". This, of course, infuriated the young mage, causing the laughter of the parents who seemed to enjoy the evil mockery that meant no harm, the one typical of friends.  
The elf was looking at them from the top of the stairs, feeling alienated and a tad bit jealous. He used to be frightened by them and scared that Alexius would turn into another merciless master, but that hadn't happened: all people inside of that house treated him like a person.  
Hearing Felix laugh when Dorian insulted his mother – yet almost immediately apologized with a mortified rush of words, realising he had the woman in front of him – was funny and heart-warming. It reminded him of his clan, of how the children would run to a freshly marked adult to ask about the details of the vallaslin ritual. Usually, nobody responded directly, enjoying the frustration in the kids' eyes with a victorious grin. Sometimes someone would slip some information, which would turn out to be false – rumours to scare the young and toy with them a bit.  
«Hel'shrael? You may sit with us if you like.»  
His head slammed back into reality as he was called, completely by surprise. It took him just a moment to realize that the room was now silent, and they were all looking at him, waiting. It was Gereon who had spoken, a soft, little smile on his lips. His age was starting to show, the corners of his eyes surrounded by small and almost invisible lines that were only going to worsen with time.  
He didn't know what to answer. He had hardly spoken, in fact, since he had come there. He still remembered how Livia demanded if he knew the language or if he was just terrified. Dorian had answered for him, on that occasion.  
For a second, he thought it was better to crawl back into his room and stay there, where he belonged. They may have helped him, but he was not part of their family, nor would he ever be. They were shems, he was an elf. They would end up hurting him, sooner or later, just as all the others of their kind did.  
Yet his legs moved before he could realise it. He shyly went down, covering the distance between the stairs and the table. On the lower floor, he could feel distinctively the fresh evening breeze – it smelled of warm weather, of scented candles and a distant rain that reminded him of the sea.  
Felix stood up and offered him his chair, quickly moving to grab a stool to sit on. He hesitated once more, looking at the wooden object as if it was something alien, surreal and confusing, as if he was a child just learning how things were made.   
It was there, in front of him. A gentle invitation. For so many days the only place he could sit on with other people was the hard floor or the bed. There was no need for him to be on a chair, it was unhandy to have sex on.  
Lavellan didn't notice he was trembling slightly until he made his decision. He actually felt his heart skipping a beat when he took his place around the table, pushing a bit forward to settle his position. There he was: surrounded by people who didn't want to harm him, looking at him without lust or hatred, but only a sweet curiosity and something similar to affection.  
Ah, that last part was probably him hallucinating. They didn't even know him, how could they love him even slightly?  
A plate, cutlery and glass were placed in front of him, clean and freshly washed. While Livia reached behind her to grab a napkin, Dorian stood up with a bowl in his hands, showing its content to him as if nothing had happened. As if it was normal to have an elf slave sitting at their table.  
«There's salad in here, as you can see. We season it with quite the spicy relish, but it is overall tasty and rich in flavour. This – or perhaps you'd fancy some juicy meat instead?»  
«You should write a book where you describe every possible dish with such pompous language, ser master chef.»   
That comment from Felix earned him an elbow against the ribs – and a small laugh from the elf. He didn't notice how they all stilled, hearing him laugh, more focused on reaching out to grab the bowl.  
«I will take this, if I may. Only a bit.»  
«Do take as much as you like. Thank the Maker, the grass is abundant.» - Alexius commented, with a point of sarcasm in his voice. He had overheard that he didn't like salad, but ate it regardless to "give the example". It was a funny thought since both Felix and Dorian were basically adults.  
Though he had never used them, he knew how he was supposed to use his fork and knife. Hel was glad nobody kept staring at him, making him uncomfortable in his ignorance. They simply went back to talking, now conversing about magic.  
That topic, in particular, was interesting to him. Officially, he had been bought because he had potential that could be worked with. That, at least, was what Dorian had told his patron to convince him to do something he wouldn't normally even consider.   
Alexius' family was certainly not poor, but they weren't very rich either, and Felix' university was rather expensive. It was still a mystery to him how the whole business had been possible.  
«It is admirable, Livia, what your students have discovered. This new information about the Fade will prove extremely useful, once we find the correct way to distort time without causing any trouble.»  
«It would be easier, my dear, if you took a few other apprentices. No offence, Dorian, but you're still a single human being.»  
«One of the most brilliant kind, I would add.» - the young man added, a fake expression of mortification. Perhaps it wasn't entirely false, but the playful curl of his eyebrows made it light and joyful.  
«I was thinking about the same thing. Actually, not a few more, just one – if he'll like.»  
Everyone suddenly went quiet and, as if they all had the same thought at the same moment, turned their heads to the elf.   
He froze in place, taking a couple of seconds to register the eyes now fixated on him, staring at each pair with confusion and instinctual alarm. Yet none of them was evil – not the dark chocolate brown of Alexius' iris, nor the warm black of Felix's, and most definitely nor the grey of both Dorian and Livia. Funny, he thought for a brief second, without even knowing where that came from. Funny how such a cool colour could look soft and caring, how the lightest shade of blue in Pavus' eyes seemed as warm as the sun during a summer sunset. It was likely he had lost his own mind to make such a consideration.  
«...Would you like it, Hel'shrael? To help Dorian and me with our research?» - Gereon voice, again, was as calm as if he was talking to a child. Yet he didn't speak more slowly as some people did, taking him for a fool, nor did he try to deceive him with sugar-coated false promises. It was an invitation, one that he could take or refuse.  
Would he hate me, if I said no? Would he hit me and suddenly decide I am attractive enough to spend a night with against my will?  
The hand that fell upon his lowered the trembling, the one he hadn't noticed having. It was Felix, the caress of his fingers gentle yet firm, skin soft but masculine, no powerful magical energy to sense under his palm. So it was true, he wasn't really gifted in magic. He liked his touch regardless – it made him feel safe.  
«I … forgive me. It would be an honour for me to help, though I'm uncertain I have the ability to provide any meaningful improvement.»  
«Let me decide that, if you may.» - the man replied, a pleased smile that painted its way across his face, shortly mimicked by everyone else - «Tomorrow, we'll see what you're capable of and what you need to learn. Needless to say, you can stop if you ever feel uncomfortable.»  
That … was something he really hadn't thought about. Not only because he wasn't used to caring about what he wanted or not any more, but even because…  
«No, I... – You took me in. Without even knowing me. You gave me a room, food and clean clothes, books to read and ...» - He paused for a moment, the gratefulness almost choking him in tears of joy. For once though, he didn't feel like crying, but rather like smiling and laughing, so hard his belly would hurt - «...You saved me. I want to help in whichever way I can.»  
Felix' finger curled around his before he broke out in a small laugh. It took him just a glance to realise what had caused it, and he would have felt mortified if the young man didn't look amused and uncaring about the small sparks of lightning that were generating from his skin.  
«Ahem, forgive me. It tickles.» - He explained, mostly to Dorian who rolled his eyes with the expression of who knows something and is aware of the other person doing the same, a shared secret between the two.  
None of them said a word about it, while he calmed himself and put an end to his little magical break-out.  
«I see you have an inclination towards this element. Is lightning your speciality?» - Pavus demanded, still looking at where the small blue sparks were a moment ago. The smell of magic and thunder still lingered in the air, making the elf wonder if Felix ever felt jealous of it. A quick glance told him he was completely indifferent to it, more concentrated on the small circles he was drawing on the back of his hand. It was getting addictive, that comforting movement.  
«The Dalish don't focus their effort on offensive magic, we are healers. That is why ...» - Why he couldn't defend himself, back then, when he was kidnapped. His muscles tensed in instinctual response, but he shook his head immediately, casting the memory aside - «...Nevermind. I'm good at defensive magic. If I had to pick an element I'm familiar with, though, that would be lightning. And ice, too. Fire, I don't like it, too destructive and harder to control. I was fascinated by it when I was younger, but I saw what it can do and I started dreading it.»  
For the first time in years, everyone listened. Every word falling from his mouth was caught and treasured in their minds, eyes attentive and more questions quick to come. It was as if they cared about what he had to say, about him. It was such a strange, tender feeling, only amplified by the cheerful tone the conversation took in the timespan of a few replies and by the soft light in their eyes, the proud nuance of affection and relaxed happiness.  
It felt good. It felt safe.  
And it felt a little bit like home.


End file.
